About Us
❓ FAQ – Frequently Absurd Questions
🥤 Q: Is Cold P a real drink?
A: No. And that’s the whole point.
Cold P is a 100% fictional energy drink. You can’t drink it — but you can wear it, gift it, and confuse people with it.
👕 Q: So what exactly do you sell?
A: We sell clothing and accessories from completely made-up brands.
T-shirts, hoodies, mugs, tote bags, phone cases — all branded with logos and slogans from companies that literally do not exist (yet feel weirdly real).
🚚 Q: Do you actually ship orders? Or is this part of the joke?
A: Yes, we ship. For real.
The brands are fake. The product is wearable. The shipping? Legit.
💳 Q: Is payment secure?
A: Absolutely.
We may joke about fake citrus power, but we don’t joke about your privacy.
🔁 Q: Can I return an item?
A: Hell no.
You bought a hoodie that says “Would you like some of my Cold P?” That was a life decision. Own it.
🧠 Q: Who creates these fake brands?
A: A group of deeply unserious people with a suspicious amount of design skills and free time.
Each brand is a satire, a statement, or just a chaotic inside joke. Either way — you’ll wear it before anyone else has time to overthink it.
📦 Q: Are more brands coming?
A: Absolutely.
Expect drops like Flat P, Hot P, Glizzy Fuel, and Yoghurt Xtreme.
You won’t know what’s coming. And that’s the thrill.
📬 Q: How do I stay updated?
A: Sign up for the newsletter.
No spam. Just fake brands, real drops, and the occasional bad idea with great design.
💥 Why Choose Us?
Because we make merch from brands that don’t exist…
...but somehow feel more authentic than half the stuff in your closet.
We sell chaos, confidence, and Cold P — one drop at a time.
